If you’re ready to get married today, and your boyfriend is dragging his feet, it may be a sign that he’s just wasting your time.
Why Do Men Waste Time?
Getting a girlfriend isn’t easy. Heck, for a lot of guys getting a date isn’t even easy. For this reason, a lot of men are totally okay with staying with a girlfriend who they have no intention of marrying. A lot of these guys aren’t particularly open and honest about their intentions not to marry their girlfriends, probably because the best-case scenario is a fight and the worst-case scenario is going back to being single. Oftentimes these guys operate on vague timelines and appear to be simply allergic to giving definitive answers about their plans for the future. If you’re dating one of these guys, you have undoubtedly heard things like “Maybe someday,” “I don’t know yet,” or the classic, “Marriage is just a piece of paper.”
It’s Been a Long Time
If you’ve been dating for more than four years and your boyfriend still isn’t sure whether or not he wants to marry you, that could be a sign that he doesn’t have plans to get married at all. This is especially true if your boyfriend isn’t ready to get married, has no clue when he’ll be ready, and you are ready to get married ASAP. If you and your boyfriend have been dating for over four years, and you’re both still unsure, that’s totally okay. But if you’re ready to get married today, and your partner still isn’t ready, even after four years, it may be time to find someone else whose plans align with yours.
He’s Been Slow to Commit to Other Things
Watch out for men who are slow to commit to other things. Was he always dragging his feet when it comes to moving the relationship along? Is he hesitant about moving in together even though you’ve been together for a really long time? Another thing to pay attention to is the man’s lifestyle: is he living the bachelor life with a part-time job and six roommates? Or is he actively working toward a more stable life? While there’s nothing wrong with the bachelor life, it’s not really the ideal lifestyle to facilitate a healthy marriage. Guys who are living the bachelor life may not be ready to settle down and get married.
He Hasn’t Prioritized You
If you’re dating a guy who isn’t prioritizing you, or his time with you, that could be a sign that he doesn’t really see a future with you. While it’s not fair to expect a guy to prioritize time with you in the beginning of a relationship, eventually he should intentionally be setting aside time to spend with you as the relationship progresses. If he can’t commit to anything more than Netflix on a Wednesday night, that may be a sign that he doesn’t see the relationship as seriously as you do. If a guy really is marriage material, he will be putting effort into spending time with you and making you part of his life. This may mean introducing you to his family or talking about how he sees you in his future plans.
He Gives Evasive Answers
Guys who are wasting time will often give evasive answers or downplay the importance of marriage. They may say that they don’t know when they’ll get married, or they’ll give some vague answer about when they’ll be ready. They may talk in circles, and you may feel like you haven’t really gained any insight into where he sees this relationship going even if you’ve had this conversation multiple times. A guy who’s wasting your time might also downplay the importance of marriage, claiming that it’s just a piece of paper. He may even reason that, if you two live together, there’s no material difference between living together and being married. But if marriage matters to you, you may want to move on and find someone who’s life plans align more closely with yours.
He Doesn’t Want to Get Married
If a guy ever tells you that he doesn’t want to get married, even if it’s just a first date, you should not plan on him changing his mind. While it’s absolutely possible that he will change his mind, it’s also possible that he won’t. If you have been with a guy for years and he’s still telling you that he doesn’t want to get married, his mind is unlikely to change any time soon.