With divorce rates rising, and marriage rates decreasing, some are wondering if marriage is outdated. Many men are struggling to find women to date and, as a result of their frustration, they’re turning to misogynistic influencers. This has led to people like Andrew Tate becoming famous and influential amongst young men, and older men who are unable to attract suitable partners.
Times Have Changed…
When it comes to marriage, women didn’t always have much of a choice. Without education, employment opportunities were scarce and, with the prevailing attitude that women ought to stay home, many employers had no problems discriminating against women—and until the 1964, they were well within their legal rights when discriminating against women. In fact, it wasn’t until the 1960’s that women were actually able to open a bank account—and even then most banks didn’t allow a woman to do that without her husband’s signature. Up until 1974, banks could legally refuse to allow you to open an account based on your gender. In a society where women at limited access to education, career opportunities, and birth control, it’s no surprise that many of them felt as marriage was their only choice.
“A Man Is Not a Financial Plan”
Today’s women are strongly encouraged to be financially independent from men. This is a huge benefit to society since men are by no means a fail-proof way of making ends meet. While there’s nothing wrong with being a stay-at-home wife or mother, having an education to fall back on if your husband dies, leaves, or loses his job, is always a good idea. Women of 2023 are increasingly favoring work, and in some cases, many families cannot afford to have only one party earning. The average monthly mortgage payment in Utah is nearly $3,000—a sum that most people cannot cover on a single income, especially when you add in car payments. Not only are women encouraged to be financially independent, our consumerist culture has made it so that both parties need to work in order to “keep up with the Joneses.”
Women Dominate in School
Women are earning bachelor’s degrees at a higher rate than men, and they have been since 2014. There’s been a lot of debate about why this has happened and, unfortunately, this problem is getting so little attention that there is no leading theory. However, people have discussed the idea that females are by nature more obedient and more likely to seek out approval from adults. In a classroom environment, this would result in female students putting more effort into their schoolwork in order to get good grades. Females are also more likely to internalize failure so when they do get a bad grade, they are more likely to attribute it to something that is wrong with them. The point is that the traditional classroom set up may give female students an advantage when it comes to earning good grades.
How Traditional Gender Roles Have Failed Men
There’s a loneliness epidemic that is absolutely crushing men, and it’s a monster that our society has created, and is continuing to create. In 2023, women are no longer looking for a provider because they can provide for themselves. While there are extremely shallow women who are only interested in rich guys who can provide an absurdly luxurious lifestyle, those women are generally the exception to the rule. Most of today’s women aren’t looking for a provider; they’re looking for a companion. The problem? Our traditional gender roles have raised generations of men who don’t have the emotional intelligence to be good companions.
Where We Went Wrong
Our society continuously telling men that they need to be stoic to the point of bottling up emotions. There’s a mental health stigma in America that disproportionately affects men: we would never make fun of women for going to therapy but there are men who don’t even believe in going to therapy themselves. We tell men that they’re supposed to like traditionally masculine things, and that they aren’t supposed to like feminine things—and if they do like feminine things, we can make fun of them and shame them for liking feminine things. We’ve even perpetuated the idea that men cannot be physically or sexually abused by women—which is absolutely preposterous.
We Can’t Go Back to the Dark Ages
We can’t go back to a time where women stay at home because they don’t have access to education or career opportunities. But feminism can’t just be about promoting women and putting men down. Feminism needs to be for everyone, not just women. If we’re really serious about equality, we all need to work together to dismantle the harmful stigmas that exist against women and men. While we should absolutely celebrate women’s financial independence and academic success, we can’t forget that we need to continue to speak out against the emotionally damaging standards of the past. While husbands and boyfriends aren’t obsolete, many women are looking for someone they can have a connection with—and our society has yet to prepare men for that.