Not everyone you meet has long-term potential.
She Never Offers to Pay
In the United States, we’ve got a lot of expectations about who should pay for the first date, and when it comes to heterosexual couples, most people believe that the man should pay for the first date. However, with the amount of women entering the career field, it’s becoming more and more common for women to have their own money. While many men may insist on paying for the first date, they definitely shouldn’t be paying for every date. If you’ve gone out with a girl multiple times, and she’s never even offered to pay, that should be a red flag—especially if she’s the one who asked. Regardless of what your gender is, you should not be the only one who’s paying for the dates.
A short video went viral of a woman claiming that she wouldn’t get out of the car on her first date because the man committed the ultimate sin of taking her to The Cheesecake Factory. Whether or not this was a scripted video is still up for debate, however this is the type of entitlement that could be serious red-flag material. If you’re dating someone who believes that they are entitled to fancy dinners and lavish experiences, they’re going to leave the moment those things are gone. In many cases, this could happen because they care more about the fancy dinners, expensive dates, and luxurious vacations than they do about the person they’re spending time with. When you’re committing to someone, you should be committing to someone who likes you for you. That means that they’ll stick around even when you can’t take them out to snazzy restaurants because they enjoy your company so much.
Is She’s Shallow?
While everyone has standards, women who only date handsome, rich dudes should probably be avoided. If you’re looking for someone who has long term potential, going for someone who cares primarily about physical appearance and financial status may not be the best move. Even if you’re handsome and rich right now, you might not always be. In 2008, many people went from owning a yacht to living in an apartment and working retail—and there’s nothing wrong with working in retail, but it tends to make less than investment banking. When times are tough, you want a partner who will be there by your side, even if you don’t have a lot of money, good looks, or status.
Your Feelings Don’t Matter
If you know you can’t tell your partner how you feel without losing esteem in their eyes, or being the subject of ridicule, that’s a bad sign. It’s almost worse if you tell them how you feel and they flat-out don’t care. Being in a relationship where you are consistently expected to bottle up your feelings because your significant other doesn’t want to hear it is unhealthy. Not only that, but it negatively impacts the intimacy within a relationship. When two people cannot openly and honestly communicate, the relationship will eventually stop growing. You do not want to be in a long-term relationship with someone who doesn’t care how you feel or makes you feel ashamed for having feelings in the first place.
Just Here for the Good Times
Things might be good now, but they’re not going to always be good. Each person goes through difficult times in their lives, and if you’re looking for someone who’s long-term material, or even marriage-material, you’re going to need someone who isn’t just there for the good times. Far too many people these days are looking at relationships transactionally: what can this person do for me? The problem is that you’re not always going to have something to offer your partner—and in order for a long-term relationship to work, you’ll need to be with someone who likes you enough to stick around when you don’t have anything to give them.