Who Should Pay for the First Date?

We’ve often heard that the man should always pay for the first date. However, that advice is outdated. In 2023 there are many women who have careers and are financially capable of paying for the first date. So, should women still expect men to pay for the first date? 

Who Asked? 

You’ve probably heard that the man always pays for the first date, and while that’s nice, it’s outdated advice, especially since most women have careers today. If you ask someone out on a date, it’s basic etiquette that you pay—regardless of your gender. If you asked, and your date insists upon paying, there’s no harm in letting them. However, you are not entitled to a free first date just because of your gender. If ask someone on a date, you should at least offer to pay. And this doesn’t just go for a first date either. If you want to go do something with your partner, you shouldn’t be forcing them to pay, or even expecting it. 

Should Both Parties Pay? 

There’s nothing wrong with each party paying for their portion of the date, however many people do enjoy buying things for their significant others. The reality is, both parties should be financially contributing at some point. While it’s probably not a good idea to “keep score,” nobody should expect their partner to pay for every date. If your partner has more money than you, you shouldn’t feel pressured to spend as much as they do, but you ought to contribute on a level that you can. There are many cheap dates that can show your partner that you appreciate them but won’t cause you to break the bank. 

Lavish Dates and Entitlement 

A common problem in the dating world is that many people feel as though they’re entitled to a lavish first date. A video recently went viral when a woman refused to get out of the car because her date took her to Cheesecake Factory. The fact that she felt like she was too good for Cheesecake Factory speaks volumes—and it’s not good. Nobody is entitled to a fancy first date, but similarly nobody should have special privileges just because they spent a lot of money on their date. So, if your date spends a lot of money on you, that does not mean that they’re entitled to a second date or a relationship. 

How Much Should a First Date Cost? 

The budget for dating will depend on your finances, but dating should not stress you out financially, especially because there are many fun dates that you could go on that are not expensive. First dates that are less expensive may include bowling, getting dessert, going to a movie, going ice skating, and more. If your date feels as though they’re entitled to a more expensive first date, that may be a sign that they aren’t interested in a long-term relationship, as those who were interested in a long-term relationship will likely be more concerned with getting to know the person they’re dating than the cost of the date. 

An Attitude of Gratitude 

Regardless of whether or not you’ve had a good time on your date, it’s always important to express gratitude when someone has taken you on a date. While you may not owe them a relationship—or even a second date—saying thank you after someone has taken you out is always a classy thing to do. Although we still have the cultural norm of men paying for a first date, that does not mean that women are unconditionally entitled to a free first date. So, when it comes to the first date, it really doesn’t matter who paid.